Friday, 27 May 2011

Lady Laura and lady lizard

How do, here we go again. Hope you're well, I am pretty good thanks. I have been monstering again, you will be astonished to find out. This is Laura.

I have known Laura a reet long time, about fourteen years. We went to sixth form together and then didn't see each other a whole lot afterwards, until a few weeks ago when I cadged a lift to Glasgow with her to watch our old pal Pete get married. That was great fun, and I made this monster instead of giving Laura any petrol money. I gave someone else a monster in lieu of money recently too, but I've forgotten who or what I got for it. Maybe they could become my new currency.


Some details:

Laura has a big wide smile, so I gave her some teef. She is only the second ever monster ever to have them, after Pete (different Pete)'s Joker/Lagerface dude. Lucky you Laura!

Laura has a flower in her hair. Not always, but sometimes.

Laura is fond of wearing a pair of fetching lilac fuzzy Ugg boots. They are pretty mental, I hope I have portrayed them to the very bester-most of their potential (that sentence took me ages to come up with and I am really pleased with it).

The other thing is that Laura has a pet lizard called Escher who is, I THINK, a bearded dragon. Obviously I had to make her a little monster Escher with a little monster beard. After I finished her I thought that she looked like Abraham Lincoln, so I gave her a top hat, too.

Presenting MC Escher on the mic (yay):

So yeah, there you go. Laura and Escher, brill. I like those guys.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

'Hello. I hope you don't think I'm insane.'

Ey up, me again, just a quick one with some NEWS.

As I mentioned before, I wanted to make some monster versions of famous, or at least semi-famous, or demi-semi-famous, people I like. Just for funsies really, as a token of appreciation, if that doesn't sound too crap. I started doing it and then felt a bit like a weirdo, so I stopped again. HOWEVER. I DID make Adam and Joe monsters.

I used to watch the Adam and Joe Show when I was a young stupidhead, and tape it so I could see the fast bits. I've still got a video of it somewhere, which would be fun to watch actually because it would have 90s adverts on. I had no clue about anything when I was 15 but obviously I had SOME taste. What I'm trying to say here is that I like them, and also I feel like I've known them for years. I think everyone who likes them understands what I mean. I'm being a bit vague so perhaps not.

Anyway, the monsters. I am particularly pleased with Adam's hat. I couldn't figure out how to make a tiny sailor hat, because it's not just a flat cap, it needs to be round, with a raised front bit and a peak. I find it hard to think in three dimensions sometimes. I thought I'd just wing it, and it turned out splendidly if I may say so, and I think I may. This photo doesn't really do it justice.

I think this hat is LITERALLY one of the best things I have ever, ever made, ever. It just turned out so perfect.

Ermmm... what. Oh yes. So there I was, poised to send the monsters off to the BBC, and then I got a ticket to see Adam Buxton do BUG at the Zion Centre in Hulme. Wow! Then my friends convinced me it would be super if I took the monsters to give Adam in person. All right.

So. How laboured is this story! BUG was last night, it was fantastic, I did a lot of shrieking laughing as I am wont to do. Then I practically had a nervous breakdown because I didn't want to give the monsters in person, it's too scary, I can't I can't! If you know me, you know that is my attitude towards most things.

Anyway... skip to the end... I plucked up the courage in the end and Adam is a lovely fellow and seemed happy enough with them, and he signed some stuff:

I got this for Christmas or something when I was a young'un, apparently they go for a mint on Ebay! Cripes!

And this is my Favourite!

Hooray! I didn't want to update this last night when I got in, as I was really overexcited and I thought I might sound too demented. I'm not sure if I sound any better this morning, but I can't keep it in any longer! Ha. I have just babbled on and on about it to the security man next door who clearly didn't care at all. And I now feel like I might resume the famous monster making, so look out. Oh and also, Zoe didn't snog him, she was worried she might cause a scandal and end up on This Morning.


Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Elvis and Shirley

Hey. It's been AGES since I posted anything, nearly a month, what a complete waster I am! You must be famished for some stupid crochet. Well, here's some.

Remember I made an Elvis monster? He has been on some adventures since I last saw him! What a crazy guy. Here are some of his snaps (courtesy of Shirley). I will attempt to caption them even though I don't know who, or what, a lot of them are. I think this will add a certain dimension to the piece that it was lacking.

Road trip time.

This person is something to do with Cokey Cola, I suppose.

Ridin'. I love this photo.

'Pardon me boy, is this the cat who chewed your new shoes?' Ha ha

This says 'Sippin' to Saddles'. I do not know what that means. It sounds exciting though, something to do with horses I should expect.

Elvis was an American person.

Erm... a conflagration. Elvis looks so happy doesn't he? Wheee!

Hey it's Shirley! Let us have a look through your specs, willya.

The painting of Elvis has a black eye.

I love this. I want one in my house. I would drink Pepsi-Cola if I had one of these.

This is so very cool, me gusta.

I think this is at Elvis' grave. I thought it was the world's most wrecked piece of paper but I now think it's a rock.

It appears that people enjoy erecting guitar sculptures, Elvis monster likes sitting on them.

According to another photo which I haven't posted, his mother took Elvis to this shop to buy a bicycle. Then he wanted a gun, but she wouldn't let him have one, so as a compromise he got his first guitar. Hang on, what happened to the bicycle? I don't really understand this story, but I guess Tupelo Hardware has been doing well off it for a few decades, so everything's all right.

Elvis monster meets melancholy-eyed Elvis aged thirteen.

Hello receptionist.

When he was alive, Elvis enjoyed sitting on top of a cup and eating a plant.

This lady has very frilly sleeves and therefore I like her.

Elvis contemplates what to have for his tea.

Can you spot him?

Oh there you are, hello!

Okay this is probably bad taste but Shirley took it, so blame her. I guess he is just doing a make-sure before they set off again.

So there we are! I enjoyed that, did you? I have a few friends travelling about at the moment, with monsters about their untrustworthy persons. If you are reading this, travelling friends, please can you do me a flavour, and take a few snaps for me? I love it, I really love it. My silly little monsters going off all over the place, they are so flighty.

Anyway. Oh! Just to let you know, I have a stall at the Chorlton Arts Festival craft market on Saturday (the 21st). It's at 11am til 4pm and at St Clements church on Edge Lane, come down and high five me. I have some fairly all right stuff to sell. Not only that, but there will be other stalls (I know!) and some other shit too, I don't know what, music and cake and ales and Chorlton hippy stuff I should think. It's always a nice day out so just bloody come, will you. Have a look here for other Arts Festival stuff. I need to stop saying 'stuff'.