Friday, 22 April 2011

Yee hawwwwww part two

Well well. Hello, I am mega excited, I have just dropped rice on my bed but I'm not excited about that. I have something to show you which I made ages ago. Wow!!

Listen, do you remember these monsters? Specifically, the cowboy ones? They are Rachel and Dave and they are getting married REAL SOON. Rachel asked me to make them tiny monsters, little minuscule wee ones, to go on top of the wedding cake. Super wow!! Of course, I had some doubts about whether I had the skills for this one. I am NOT a super accomplished mini-crocheter, I am pretty cack-handed actually. There I said it. (Gasp!) Anyway these guys had to be REALLY small, just visible to the unclothed eyeball, and I didn't want them to look all bulky and rubbish. So this is what I came up with: first up, Rachel:

She's still a cowgirl, like. I think I did all right in the end. I put wire in the hats to keep them shapely, and she's got her little cowboy boots on too. I thought I'd photograph the monsters on horseback by the way.

Full frontal:


Now Dave:

Looking good there Dave.

Here's one of them both:

Dat's very cute. I wonder what they're going to look like on top of the cake. I will have to see if I'm allowed to post photos of it after the wedding. Everyone else will be cooing over the bride and groom, and I will be in the corner, taking pictures of the cake from all different angles.

Any road up, I have done some other monsters which I have yet to photograph. I am aiming to do at least some of them this weekend seeing as I'm off work for FIVE DAYS. All right! Catch you later then, take it easy, blah.

Sunday, 17 April 2011


Hey everybody, I finished it (weeks ago), sewed all the ends in, and FINALLY got around to bringing it round to Nic's house for a photoshoot. So the time has come!

**drum roll**


Int she a beaut! I will tell you a bit about her.

I wanted to recreate one of those 50s style adverts, or food packaging with a housewife-type holding a plate of cookies or whatever. I love packaging like this with big, bold lettering. And custard is suitably 50s and homemade and wholesome. The ladymonster, though (I should give her a name!) is eating the custard off her finger which is quite suggestive I suppose. I think of her as quite predatory, or at least confident. She is sexy despite being a total uggo. Her pose and cocky demeanour, which I have imagined, having spent HOURS in her company, is not ladylike or demure, as I guess the 50s housewife thing is supposed to suggest. However, at the same time, she's totally feminine, as indicated by the frilly pinny, the pink frock with all the curly bits, and the lovehearts. She may not be a lady, but she's all woman! I wish I was more like her!

The subject of women and femininity in art has been pored over for decades and I was going to go into it a bit here, but I don't want to churn out some old cliches or start drivelling on about feminism like a drunken, well, me, on a blog which is primarily about my silly knitted nonsense.

I am going to stop writing bollocks now because I feel like an idiot. Here, have some close-ups.

Aahhh. I'd like to exhibit this somewhere, it looks pretty cool in front of Nic's summer house but alas, it can't stay there. Does anyone have any ideas?

Finally, for scale, here's a picture of the drawing with me in front of it looking awkward.

It's very bright today and I've got the sun in my eyes.

Well anyway, that's what I've been doing for the last year and a half. I think I'll go and do another one.

Monday, 11 April 2011

My Scruffy Flat and Other Stories

Hey. I haven't really got much to say right now, but I haven't written anything in a while, and I am avoiding any proper work. Also, I ate quite a lot of chocolate by accident before (I don't even remember buying it, I go into such a trance in Aldi) and I'm a bit sleepy. Just a heads up.

So I still haven't managed to take any proper photos of my knitted drawing, and I am reluctant to show you the shitty ones I took on the floor of my flat, because - well, they're shitty, and I don't want to OKAY. I also don't want to drag this out for the rest of eternity though, so I will endeavour to do it this week, not that anyone cares any more, probably!

Argh. If you remember, I started the drawing partly as a way to use up all the odds and ends of yarn that made up my 'stash' as they call it. I would say that this has been a failure. In the year since I started making it, I have accumulated about three times as much yarn as I had before, thanks to Laura, who moved into a van and gave me loads, and my auntie Brenda, who keeps me topped up with gigantic sackfuls every few months. Which is awesome and I'm mega grateful! I love you guys! I have a million tons of yarn all over the place though.

Speaking of which, last year I wrote this thoughtful and intriguing post about how I put all my yarn on different shelves in my cupboard, and how it had changed everything in my life for the better and things like that. Well, in the meantime I moved house and threw everything on the floor. A week ago, my workspace looked like this:

Ugh, rubbish, look at that tangle!

I like to call that a 'tanglabra'.

Anyway I am halfway through putting it all in cupboards now, which Nic gave me, since she is moving into a van too.

I am boring myself now, I will stop jabbering on about nothing in a minute. Here are some teaser photos for you though, from my 'Shitty Floor Photos'* collection, just to whet the whistle.

*my actual floor isn't shitty, just my photography skillzz innit.

Saturday, 2 April 2011


Hello. Now that my knitted drawing is finished, hooray, I have a lot more time on my hands. I am filling it by making monsters of People I Like. I have an idea, which is to send monsters to FAMOUS people, like a creepy stalker. I don't really know why I'm doing this.

Anyway this is the first monster I've made of a Famous Person, but it isn't part of that series. I couldn't send it to him anyway, because he's dead (maybe). It's Elvis.

Shirley asked me to make him for her husband Stuart. They are going to Graceland soon and little monster Elvis is going with them, I am pretty made up with this. I have no particular opinions about Elvis, but I liked making it anyway.

Have just realised that the monster isn't finished in that photo. It's the best one I've got of his quiff, though. Here he is in all his spangly, jangly, jumpsuited glory:

Yay! Well, that's that. Enjoy your Saturday, please.