Monday, 31 October 2011

People I Like Numero Quatre

Ey up, how is it? It is fine here, thanks for asking. I have given up on the binary thing for a moment while I do a few monsters and stuff, and here comes one now.

So you know Adam and Joe? You know Baaaddad, he is Adam's dad who used to do singles reviews on the Adam and Joe Show and they used to send him to Ibiza and festivals and stuff, and he has made an appearance on the radio show at least once, doing this song. My favourite part is 'Yo, yo yo. Whose yo-yo is this?'

Anyway, also, I am quite entranced by Twitter, I love it actually. I would never talk to anyone if it wasn't for Twitter. I followed @baaaddad when he joined and he tweeted me to say my knitting looked ingenious. Aaaahhhh! I threw my laptop on the floor. Then I picked it up and replied that I had made Adam and Joe monsters and maybe I would make a Baaaddad one? He said generous idea. I got so excited about this tiny exchange, you would not believe it, I am so silly.

Right well: enough backstory, here is a picture.

I am calling this ensemble 'Holiday Nigel' since it is quite casual. I was thinking of maybe doing 'Hip Hop Nigel' which would comprise the outfit Coolio put him in that time, but I changed my mind.

Also Holiday Nigel is ready to go to a festival. He is a total raver so I put the smiley button on his hat to remind him.

The hat is meant to be one of those canvas fisherman type ones, that have eyelets in them and possibly pockets, but it looks a bit like a porkpie hat thanks to my penchant for making all hats tiny and crooked (see Adam's sailor hat). He looks like Alexei Sayle. That's okay though.

So just by coincidence, Adam Buxton was doing another BUG show in Manchester last week, so I got the monster ready in time for that. I couldn't actually make the show because I had to get up early and go to London for an Exciting Job Interview, and I was getting nervous by Wednesday night, so I gave it to Maddern to deliver, and he did a good job. I got a nice email from Adam saying thank you. What a gentleman. Hooray! I am pleased with every part of this story.

Right-o, those jobs aren't going to apply for themselves (have I said that before? It feels like it) so I mustache. Byeeeee xx

Friday, 14 October 2011

Some very simple binary knitting by an idiot

Hello. I have embarked on a new knitting project, which I think will take me forever and may in fact be a stupid idea. I don't normally do things like this, usually it's all 'hey look at this silly monster!' and 'I done a knitted drawing of an alien eating custard!!' and 'come to my craft stall and buy finger puppets!!!' and this week I have changed tack a bit. See what you think, see what you think.

So I am making lots and lots of nearly identical tiny knitted drawings, but none of them are identical, and none of them will look like anything. In fact I am making every possible permutation of two colours and nine stitches, which will be 512, won't it binary fans! When I was little, my dad taught me how to count in binary on my fingers and sometimes I do it to calm myself down when I can't sleep and feel mental. It's kind of like counting sheep but with fingers, and you can get up to 1023 on 10 fingers. Try it! It's not fun but it wastes some time. Anyway, I currently feel mental all the time and can't sleep ever, so I was doing this the other night, imagining my fingers in the dark (like you do) and I got it into my head to make a sort of knitted sequence, counting in binary. So using two colours to represent 1s and 0s, and just... count up to whatever.

The working title for this piece is Every Knitted Drawing Possible With Two Colours and Nine Stitches. It's not very succinct but I'll think of something else, so don't worry. I'm kind of stretching the term 'drawing' a bit here, but that's okay. I am using nine stitches because they make a nice square drawing. I will have 511 squares at the end, plus 0, so 512 in total. So far I have made 86. They're really small.

All terribly exciting, right? Definitely not dull as shit is it! Here, let me show you!

So this is 0, you see.



Three: one plus two, innit.


And skipping ahead a bit:

Twenty three.

And again.


I started off without the red frame at first and just tried to make squares with nine stitches, but it's impossible to make them look like anything worth looking at, you just end up with a mess like this:

Whaaaaat. It's not even square and you can't see where the green stitches are supposed to be. I stopped this after I'd made about fifteen (I know, I know, but I don't like giving up). Then I stuck some red stitches round the edge and never looked back.

So they look kind of boring at the moment and all I know is that I've got loads of them all over the place and am cataloguing them in little packets so they don't get too mixed up. I have a few ideas about how to finish it and display the squares, all of which completely disagree with one another, so I'm going to have a think, but right now I have to concentrate on making another 425 squares. And getting a job. I have to concentrate on getting a job.

Well I hope you like the beginning stages of my little project. I really like it, I think it'll be quite cool when it's finished, although they don't look very interesting at the moment. JUST BE PATIENT. Anyway that's me. Have a nice weekend. x

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Grace and Sean on a tour of drinking

Yeah, Grace and Sean got married and everything, you've all seen that. It was fun. Then they went on holiday to Dublin, and took their monsters with them and took some photos and sent me the photos. I am doing well with sentence structure tonight! Aw yes.

I asked Grace if it would be okay if I posted these beauteous photos here, but she didn't reply yet because I guess her dongle is playing up. So I'm just going to do it anyway. I don't think they're private, as far as I'm aware they're on Facebook anyway. So if you know the Galdos you have probably already seen these. If you don't, you're in luck! Here we go!

Okay so here they are with a shot of whiskey or tequila or something.

This exotic location is apparently Preston town centre. Monsters on tour! Woooooo!

Here they are sat in a load of... seeds? I don't know.

A kiss on the baps.

Right so we are definitely in Dublin now. I like the pose, guys. You are cute.

This one's super! Look at that spangle off Grace's sequins! I love this.

Now we are at the whiskey factory!

I don't know where this is but it's nice? I'm not doing too well with these here captions, I suppose I could have just ASKED.

More baps, or more probably, the same baps.

Jameson's time again! My favourite part of this is the little hands holding them up.

Oh that's nice.

So Galdos, you either spent a lot of the holiday in pubs, breweries, distilleries and bakeries, or you only took monstery photos in those places. I want to think the first one. Either way, I love this, I want more, MORE! Please send me monstery holiday snaps everyone. Unless you don't have any monsters in your life, in which case you should totally get one! PLUG.

Oh and Nic sent me a photo, and I don't think she will mind me showing you because it's oh so terribly pretty.

You will recognise Nic because she is all over the background of my blog. Here she is with her and Bob's monsters, and a load of her own knitting. Nic is a bloody good knitter. She can knock up a wicked jumper. She's better than me at clothes because I hate measuring and following patterns, which you can see if you look at the length of Bob's blimmin' legs in this photo. Anyway I like this photo, it's just about the loveliest thing ever and oh by the way they're in France. I think.

That's it for now, give us a shout if you do actually want a monster, because I meant everything I said and I mean EVERYTHING. x

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Big Sammy!

Hello. I have been doing another knitted drawing, a little one, for Catherine. She has a big silly dog called Sammy, and she wanted a knitted representation of him in lurid technicolour. Well, I added the technicolour bit, that's how I do things y'see. I have met Sammy twice. The first time he lolloped about and made me nervous. The second time he sat nicely and only tried to eat an entire cake once.

Here is beautiful Sammy, posing for his royal portrait.

His front feet and tail are missing off this photo but you can imagine what they look like.

So what I did next was draw Sammy onto some squared paper and then colour in all the squares methodically. I decided to go for blue and green, told Catherine I was going to knit it with dark blue and greys (so it wasn't all black), and then changed my mind afterwards. So here's that.

He's just such a fabulous model, I love it.

Then I knitted it. This turned out to be a harder task than I had anticipated, partly because I had accidentally coloured some squares half one colour and half another, so I had to kind of wing it in places. Came out all right though. I did it in four parts and sewed them together.

Looking at all the pictures together, it's kind of obvious that I forgot (again) that knit stitches are not square, they are wider than they are tall. So if you make a knitting pattern with square stitches, it will come out squatter and wider than it's supposed to. Luckily, this drawing is small enough that it doesn't really matter. It still looks like Majestic Sammy.

Just look at that face.

I haven't even showed this to Catherine yet but I hope she'll enjoy it. I hope Sammy feels that it is a flattering representation. I think it's quite funny to get a portrait of your pet made, especially a knitted one, but it's also kind of amazing. I might make a portrait of my parents' four cats sitting together like a nice family, and not running away from each other or smacking each other round the face like they do normally. Or all fighting to sit on my dad.