Years and years ago, before I discovered knitting and crochet, I made a 'sculpture' that I used to call 'Burger Lady'. It was made of fabric scraps, and depicted a woman with a huge mouth, eating a giant burger which was covered in beads and drips and messy splodges of stuff. I don't know why. I think I am actually obsessed with women shoving great big messy foodstuffs into their gobs. I had never considered this until Ames pointed it out, once, after looking at some of my drawings which included these:
Okay, so not just women. I used to do these while I was working in a hellish call centre, and I just used to draw anything that came out of my head while I was on the phone to enraged customers, so I think they embody a lot of the anguish I felt about not being allowed to tell them to shut up or anything, and general misanthropy, that sort of thing. You can look at a lot of them here, or come round my house, I've got hundreds of these drawings.
Anyway, I used to really hate Burger Lady and never knew what to do with her. I thought she was too harsh, too aggressive, it was disgusting. This whole thing with massive mouths and rank globby food was kind of awful, anyway. Garth once walked into my room and asked me if I wondered if the things I made were a bit scary. I abandoned her, and after carting her on about five house-moves, I unceremoniously threw her in the bin. I never even gave her any legs.
I am making a bit of a meal of this story, but anyway. I haven't got any photos of Burger Lady because I hated her so much. But I have had a SORT OF urge to... not remake her, as such, but make ANOTHER one, a nicer one, one that isn't so full of anger and unhappiness, and ketchup. And now I can crochet, which is awesome, because I could never get the hang of fabric as a sculptural medium. It looked a right mess. I bet you wish I had some photos of this monstrosity, don't you, well HA, because I haven't.
So despite some reservations, I have started her. This is as far as I've got:
What the shit, Helen Makes? You tell us this long, involved story about some old sculpture you couldn't be bothered finishing, and then you show us... EYES? You charlatan!
That was my internal monologue doing an impression of someone not enjoying my EYES.
So that's all I've got, folks. I will keep you updated, I think this is going to be a traumatic one. Not like the funny old Venus of Custard. I have not made any drawings or plans or patterns, it's straight up freeform crochet, which I hope will not be too predictably horrific. As long as she doesn't end up like this... I would say this is NSFW, probably, it depends where you W though. Go.
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