Friday, 22 July 2011

the mostest pointlessest

Hello tharrr, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I THINK I've been busy. However, this is not really true. What has actually happened is that my brain has atrophied from lack of use. Awful really. I'm currently in the process of applying for a job I have already been doing for a year, and it's harder than you think. I spent an hour staring at the screen the other day, wrote 7 lines, then the computers all crashed and I hadn't saved anything. I have also had a birthday. NOW DO YOU SEE HOW HARD MY LIFE IS! So I thought I'd do a quick post with some stuff, to fill time.

I had a birthday, right, but not just ANY birthday, I went all thirty. I had a nice time and dressed like Shirley Bassey. Got some presents, too. I was going to post photos of them all like a big saddo but I decided not to. But! I want to show you this because it's amazing. Look!

It's ME! I look cool! Like a cartoon person! Jim McDougall drew this, you know that guy, he's a bit talented really. He's making me a website which is wicked fresh. I am very excited that he drew this for me, because I might pretend to be all psshh, but really I like looking at pictures of myself, especially ones where I look so EXCELLENT.

Pete and Carol gave me this:

Thanks guys!

I made this for Shirley:

Just because she asked me to. I wouldn't do this for just ANYONE, but you don't argue with Shirley. Plus, she is becoming my most loyal customer. I also really like its horrible little arm with its own face. I gave it one of the spare dog noses I had left over from Eleanor's lemur.

Good one.

Finally: today a lot of deliveries came to the office, in funny shaped boxes, so we did what any sane person would do and made a dragon.

He's pretty good. I think Shirley may have named him Mike but I'm not sure. I think he will turn out to be an important piece of work.

Here he is with the Office Services team:

Looking a bit stupid there Helen. Must try harder.

I can't believe I've just done a post about my birthday presents and a cardboard dragon. I'm determined to get my shit together and do something proper soon. I'm THIRTY, you guys. Now is not the time to stagnate. All the good intentions I had are strewn about my flat, like socks. There are also socks, mixed in. Can't force these things, but I'm going to try. Nnnnnnhgghhh


  1. I loved that you blogged about your birthday presents! It's not saddo, I blogged about me and richard making a pizza. Thats a bit saddo. Was nice to see you on your birthday, sorry we took off so suddenly, was so heavily raining! I make it to my mission to try to see you soon.

  2. Belated Happy Birthday!

    My friend has seen Barnyard Masturbator perform live. Apparently they were not great.
    He bought their shirt for the hell of it, they were so grateful that he bought something that they gave him their album for free.